Ryan James Carlson
- Jul 3, 2020
Poem by George Washington on Trump visit to Mount Rushmore
Old Mount Rushmore's mighty grand!
Giant mugs survey the land.
One must be BIG to get up there!
It's not enough to have tall hair.
Ryan James Carlson
- May 29, 2020
A nice Friday-afternoon sprinkle of permanent destruction
Trump is pulling the US out of the WHO to cover up his own failure (unsuccessfully, to make it all the more pointless).
Ryan James Carlson
- May 13, 2020
Intimidate a turkey
It's easy to feel a bit powerless right now. Well I just told a wild turkey to buzz off and it did – pretty damn quick too.
Ryan James Carlson
- May 12, 2020
Trump moonlighting as spokesman for coronavirus
Trump is has apparently taken on a side hustle as a spokesman for the coronavirus.
Ryan James Carlson
- May 2, 2020
President commends gun-toting lunatics who stormed Michigan capitol
It's astonishing how much of Trumpism and white-American complicity in it – modern Republicanism – is just plain white rule.
Ryan James Carlson
- Apr 30, 2020
So-called toilet paper
I hadn't had much to complain about toilet-paper-wise. This last time, however, my fortune faltered slightly.
Ryan James Carlson
- Apr 27, 2020
“Cartoon if I could draw” series: Coronavirus
Peevish bank teller who's had it up to here to amateurish bank robber:
"No siree, you WILL NOT be robbing this bank without a mask on!"
Ryan James Carlson
- Apr 24, 2020
If neglect doesn't work, try disinfectant
Why does this disinfectant thing feels like such a knock-out punch?
Ryan James Carlson
- Apr 16, 2020
In periods of sub-optimal fitness
People often lament that their clothes are too tight. I prefer to think that my clothes are picking up the slack with better aerodynamics.
Ryan James Carlson
- Apr 15, 2017
Squirrel diplomacy
Akward moment in the history of interstate diplomacy.
Ryan James Carlson
- Aug 28, 2016
Transcendent moments as a translator
Sometimes as a translator you have these transcendent moments when you feel like you're one with the text, like you're really inside it....
Ryan James Carlson
- Mar 30, 2016
The Incomparable Trumpinho
The incomparable Trumpinho. The game has never seen his like. He's like Eddy Merckx in soccer, or Pelé on a bike.
Ryan James Carlson
- Mar 16, 2016
Thou shalt not “dispel with” things
Columnists and commentators need to stop using “dispel with” (wink wink) or they'll crystallize it as a viable form.