So-called toilet paper
I hadn't had much to complain about toilet-paper-wise. This last time, however, my fortune faltered slightly and I was forced to get a dodgy brand. Still I felt lucky, for it was a sizeable pack – I would not need to hunt again for many moons. Or so I thought. It's the sort of stuff that starts to disintegrate when you look at it too directly. If a gerbil sneezes in the next room, it flaps like Old Glory in a gale-force wind. Science classes use it to demonstrate how thick a micron is. I'd like to know what diabolical villain invented this stuff that's like the toilet-paper version of a spoon with no handle. In cheerier news, there's a chipmunk that lives in the yard with discoloration around the rump that makes it looks like it's wearing shorts.